Friday, January 7, 2011

CAUSTIC HUMOR ON CHEMICAL TANKERS -- CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL


THIS IS LIGHT HUMOUR-- BUT A CHEMICAL MAN MUST UNDERSTAND THE REASON --


On one of my chemical tankers the time charterers loved to stock cheap caustic SODA flakes in bags on my ship, as a tank cleaning chemical.  


Now-- Caustic Soda is a good saponification agents for vegetable and animal fats. Saponification principle does NOT work for mineral oils at all .


Its only bad point is that it leaves a white stubborn residue of Calcium and Magnesium salts all over the tank. 




Caustic Potash/ NaOH does the same job as Caustic Potash/ KOH --with the added advantage that it does not leave the stubborn white marks. 


Both soda and potash converts the cargo residues to soap and glycerine . 


KOH is stronger than NaOH and more soluble in alcohol.  Soap remaining from Caustic Potash is easily washed away with water. Potassium soap is softer than sodium soap, and is used in shaving creams.



Animal, fish and vegetable oils and fats as they are esters and are composed of glycerols and fatty acids which can be broken down by an alkali such as caustic potash. The fatty acids react with the caustic forming a soapy mixture which is soluble in water and thus simply washed away.

On Stainless steel ships, the white marks can be removed by Phosphoric acid recirc. On zinc and epoxy ships you can use Citric acid buffer solution whose pH is > 5.5.   But all this is added work when time is money.

The following was copied to the Charterers who had the maturity to have a nice laugh, and took the message with grace .

This world would be a better place if professionals have the ability to laugh and melt egoes.

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i have just been inspired by tankcleaning chemical caustic soda flakes - -  so here is my contribution to Sept issue of company magazine XXXX.


APPRECIATING CAUSTIC

Caustic  is a powerful tank cleaning chemical - and also a powerful word. 

Just imagine all the things you can do with it.
You can get caustic , or have caustic for brains.

With a little effort you can get your caustic together or find a place to keep your caustic

You can  buy caustic, sell caustic, lose caustic, find caustic , forget  caustic, and tell others to eat caustic and die.

You can have a caustic fit or just caustic sodaaa  your life away.

People can be caustic headed, caustic brained, caustic blinded --

Some people know their caustic while others can't tell the difference between caustic soda and potash.

There are lucky caustics, dumb caustics, crazy caustics, and bitter caustics.

There is tough caustic, hard caustic, soft caustic, slimy caustic, rough caustic, limp caustic and of course caustic flakes..

You can have a blue caustic streak, make flakes out of caustic, colour caustic pink , ghost caustic, second wave caustic, after shock caustic, "honey moon's over" caustic, groaner caustic, floater caustic, ranger caustic, phantom caustic, peek a boo caustic, back to nature caustic, pre-meditated caustic, pebbles from heaven caustic or get caustic into your eyes

You can throw caustic , sling caustic , catch caustic , or duck when the caustic hits the butterworth port

You can take a caustic flake , give a caustic flake , keep a caustic flake or serve a caustic flake on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep caustic , or be cleaner than a pig in caustic.

Some days are more greyer  than caustic, some days are just plain caustic.

There is  bad caustic and good caustic . Some  caustic doesn't stink while other things really smell like caustic.

Some music sounds are caustic, things can look caustic, and there are times when you just feel caustic.

You can be faster than caustic or you can be slower than caustic.

Sometimes you'll find caustic  on a stick, sometimes you'll find caustic everywhere, and then there are times when you can't find caustic at all.

You can have too much caustic, not enough caustic, the right caustic, the wrong  caustic or a lot of weird caustic.

You can carry caustic in a bucket, put caustic in a barrel, have a pile of caustic, have a mountain of caustic,  have a tank of caustic, a sack of caustic or find yourself up caustic creek with just one corroded paddle.

You can slice caustic, spread caustic or dunk caustic or jump caustic, and some people just can't cut the caustic.

There is mean caustic , dull caustic, silly caustic and serious caustic.

Sometimes you really need this caustic and sometimes you don't want any caustic at all.

You can stir caustic, kick caustic or stick your manifold hose into the sea and pump caustic on the marine world.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to caustic and other times you swim in a lake of caustic and come out squeaky clean.


When you stop to consider all the facts, caustic is the basic building block of creation.

This means the universe did not begin with a BIG BANG but rather with a BIG CAUSTIC DUMP.

And remember, once you know your caustic soda from potash , you don't need to know anything else!


CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL ( 29 YEARS IN COMMAND )


5 comments:

  1. Lav KaulMarch 9, 2014 at 12:12 PM
    Sir
    do you play golf?

    ReplyDelete
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    Capt. Ajit VadakayilMarch 9, 2014 at 12:33 PM
    SAILORS PLAY GOLF TOO-

    Here are ZE rules-

    1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.

    2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

    3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole.

    4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

    5. Course owner reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

    6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

    7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course, with special attention to well formed bunkers.

    8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage player's equipment for this reason.

    9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.

    10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover Someone else playing on what they consider to be a private course.

    11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will try alternative means of play when this is the case.

    12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment with and approach to the hole.

    13. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine.

    14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request.

    15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

    16. The course owner will be the sole judge of who is the best player.

    capt ajit vadakayil
    ..

    Delete

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  2. Capt. Ajit Vadakayil
    September 18, 2015 at 12:59 PM
    S Roy
    September 18, 2015 at 10:27 AM
    In Interstellar when Cooper was communicating with his daughter Murphy, he mentioned the connection as 'love' but is there a better word to describe that connection - is it conscience, emotional connect - is there any Sanskrit word for it.

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    #############################
    Capt. Ajit Vadakayil
    September 18, 2015 at 12:54 PM
    hi sr,

    i just imagined-if this question was put to RAJEEV MASAND the guy on AIB bakchod -- what he would SQUEAK.

    and imagining how this man would DIVE OFF THE DEEP END , squeaking pathetic nonsense all the while, i had the heartiest laugh since several days..

    the movie INTERSTELLAR has NOT been understood by anyone on this planet ( including the maker ) for you need to know Vedanta and Quantum physics to comment on the movie as a whole.

    THIS MOVIE HAS AN EVIL AGENDA.-- IT TRIES TO PROVE THAT THERE IS NO CREATOR GOD -- BUT FOR SOME "THEY " TYPE BENEVOLENT ENTITY.

    Thorne’s old friend Stephen Hawking, has been warning that the long-term survival of our species depends on us developing interstellar travel.

    So we must grow GM crops, we must stop burning coal , we must stop cremations --for in this movie there was only GM Corn as food .

    MAD MAN Stephen Hawkin's loaded astro physics has placed this movie in the realm of STUPID -- and has NO scientific base -- where they try to integrate newton's classical physics along with Einsteins theories- by bleeding gravity through dimensions.

    While the Endurance team is away, Prof Brand will continue to work on an advanced equation that, if solved, will allow humans to harness fifth-dimensional physics – specifically gravity.

    The equations on the black board are textbook general relativity equations-- pathetic !

    Both Newton and Einstein have stolen everything from India.

    Interstellar uses Einsteins RELATIVITY, GRAVITY LENSING, TIME DILATION, SPACE TIME CURVATURE , SINGULARITY , SPIRAL YUGA TIME , WORM HOLE PROVIDED BY OM, BUTTERFLY EFFECT BY SOLITON WAVE OF COCONUT SMASH , BLACK HOLE OF KALI, VARAHA AVATAR SAVING GENETIC BLUEPRINT CODE BEFORE PRALAYA , AAKASHIK RECORDS -- all lifted from Vedanta.

    Quantum Physics is embedded in Hinduism.

    The 10-year-old daughter, Murphy believes their house is haunted by a ghost that is trying to communicate with her by dropping books off a shelf in her room. THEY are sending an unknown form of intelligence sending them coded messages by means of gravitational anomaly altering the dust on the floor in a binary pattern .

    In Hinduism we read of SIGNS from our dead ancestors when we do REM sleep. That is why we do Pitr Paksha.

    Equipped with conscious robot ( only conscious computer can tell jokes and understand subtle humor ) TARS's data on the singularity, Cooper communicates Murph across the dimensional barrier from inside a fifth dimension tesseract through gravitational waves ( bleeding Newtons asshole ) , making him the "ghost" from her childhood ( bleeding Einsteins asshole ) .

    With this information, Murph is able to complete Brand's equation, allowing Earth's population to be evacuated el pronto—OOPS ! I must NOT get so cynical !.

    Now how does Cooper Praaji reach this Tesseract or Phesseract or whatever ? Pray? Prithee ?—


    CONTINUED TO 2-

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    1. CONTINUED FROM 1-

      -- a place beyond the event horizon of a black hole, where our man can view time as though it were a spatial dimension ( sic !).

      The conscious robot goes down a black hole to send back HAJAAAR “quantum data”

      They encounter a planet near a black hole, and decide to go around it to avoid the “time shift zone” --AIYOO AIYOO !

      NASA has been driven ‘underground’ as a secret organization --it also doubles up as a future humankind’s space-traveling ark. -- first generation of embryos are already with them – each subsequent generation helping to raise a new set of embryos (as well as reproduce naturally) PLAN A , if you pleaJJe..

      Translating that coded data gives Murph all the information she needs to drastically advance humanity’s understanding of space and time – as well as complete Plan A – CHOONA LAGAAKE !.

      But hey, they have PLAN B too. So that is why Cooper Praji sacrifices himself to reduce weight on the Endurance, thus ensuring Amelia can make it to Edmonds’ planet and kick ze goal of Plan B .

      But hey, THEY help cooper -- instead of dying alone in space, Cooper is pulled inside The Tesseract - the gravitational singularity that is maintaining the wormhole – created by the aforementioned THEY .

      Hey, I am beginning to fall in LOBE nay love with THEY. Where is my CHARKHA .

      INTERSTELLAR MEIN CHARKHA GHUMAAAKE PLAN B SAPHAL HUA-- SACHCHI MEIN !

      Kosher NASA scientists spAke that THEY ” are an advanced extraterrestrial race who have unlocked the mysteries of dimensional manipulation - and, for some NOT SO FAALTHU reason, decided to aid mankind in escaping our doomed planet. GOD BILKUL HAI HI NAHI !

      THEY are loathe to communicate directly with us humans – coz they are fifth-dimensional, having transcended our three-dimensional ways of understanding the universe.

      However THEY acquiesce to lay out a series of rudimentary library dust ripples – nay - breadcrumbs (binary messages) and advanced technology ( down the rabbit-nay- the wormhole) for humans to follow – in order to save ourselves from annihilation.

      THEY will sambhavami Yuge Yuge ( TEE HEE !)

      Cooper and Murph are saviors of humanity,chosen by THEY - the fifth-dimensional humans – who can observe past, present, and future of AAKASHA – custom-build The Tesseract for Cooper, so that he can communicate with his daughter in the past and relay the data that funny TARS (the quadrilateral shaped robot) had collected inside the singularity.

      SEARCH FOR SRI YANTRA BINDU IN SINGULARITY TOO --LANGOT PHAADKE- NAY—RUMAAAL JHODKE )

      Of HAJAAAAR importance is --the fifth-dimensional communication through gravity (made visible by three-dimensional objects back on Earth) enables Cooper to gently PEEPTA BHARPOORN , manipulate the hands on Murph’s watch – transferring the data that funny TARS acquired with morse coded watch ticks.

      Gravity bleeds via Newton’s asshole through to other dimensions in time and space to Einsteins asshole , allowing Cooper to spell out a message (“S-T-A-Y”) by pushing them mangy books off of Murph’s shelf – or communicate map coordinates to the past version of himself by spreading them dust across the floor (in binary language).

      If only this IDIOT knew the meaning of consciousness field.

      So so so—thief Newton’s Laws, what we perceive as a finite calculation could actually have infinite implications and fit into the plans of thief Einstein –kosher vineger mein daaalke.

      THEY kaun hai bhaiiya ? Aliens hai kya ? AKKAL KA DUSHMA YUVRAAJ ko poochna padenga ! Escape velocity bi pooch lenge !

      Hum honge kaamyaab !

      Capt ajit vadakayil..
      ..

      Delete
  3. http://www.huffingtonpost.in/2016/09/10/russian-river-flowing-through-the-arctic-circle-turns-blood-red/?utm_source=TOInewHP_TILwidget&utm_medium=ABtest&utm_campaign=TOInewHP

    I HAD PREDICTED THIS 4 MONTHS AGO

    AN ALGAE DUE BLOOM TO METHANE PERMAFROST ..

    RIVER IS READ , ELSEWHERE IT IS PINK AS RED MIXED WITH WHITE SNOW COLOUR TO SHOW PINK

    ANGREZ KE GHULAAM PMO CALLED IT FICTION . . .

    http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2016/06/methane-time-bomb-arctic-ice-meltdown.html

    capt ajit vadakayil
    ..

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    #######################

    Capt. Ajit Vadakayil
    September 10, 2016 at 10:12 PM

    NCE ON MY SHIP I PREDICTED CRIMSON RED IN STAINLESS STEEL TANK AS A TATTOO-- DUE TO CAUSTIC POTASH ON A PREVIOUS SEDIMENT OF CARGO CARRIED

    THE CHARTERERS IN USA DID NOT WANT ME TO WASH THE TANK TO SAVE TIME , AS PREVIOUS CARGO WAS A "CLEAN" CARGO . .

    ALL SCOFFED

    A ENGINEERING BOSS CAME ALL THE WAY TO USA TO WATCH THE TANK AFTER DISCHARGE AND CLEANING

    AND TO HIS SHOCK FOUND THE TANK RED

    HE CALLED ME RASPUTIN IMMEDIATELY ..

    TEE HEEEEEEEE

    http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2010/12/clad-stainless-steel-and-solid-ss-cargo.html

    I KICKED THE COLLECTIVE BALLS OF MY BOSSES BY SENDING THEM THIS POST BELOW- BY EMAIL

    http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2011/01/caustic-humor-on-chemical-tankers-capt.html

    http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2010/02/wall-wash-method-chemical-tankers-capt.html

    capt ajit vadakayil
    ..

    ReplyDelete
  4. Pratik
    January 13, 2017 at 1:35 PM
    Sir,

    A very curious question in my mind - Do you have photographic memory :)

    Regards

    ReplyDelete
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    #############
    Capt. Ajit Vadakayil
    January 13, 2017 at 4:00 PM

    TO REWRITE WORLD HISTORY

    AND

    TO JUNK WORLD HEROES

    YOU NEED AN ABILITY TO DO SPEED READING

    YOU MUST KNOW WHAT IS THE CURRENT STATUS QUO –- WHAT IS ACCEPTED AS THE GOSPEL TRUTH BY ROTHSCHILDs AGENTS MANIPULATION

    ONLY THEN YOU CAN CORRECT IT

    TO READ HUMONGOUS AMOUNT OF FALSHOOD AND RUBBISH MATERIAL -- YOUR MIND MUST WORK LIKE A "SCANNER " --FAST-- YET FOOLPROOF.

    IT MUST VACCUUM THE DIRT AND GLEAN IT. GLEAN GRAIN FROM CHAFF

    http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2011/02/speed-reading-capt-ajit-vadakayil.html

    WELL , AT SEA WHEN I HAD TO MAKE SIMPLE SAILORS UNDERSTAND COMPLICATED MATTERS-- THE CREW KNEW WHAT WAS COMING-

    THEY KNEW THAT CAPTAIN WOULD MAKE A SHITTANTRA STORY ON THE SPOT-- INVOLVING SEX/ FART / SHIT

    SEE, I DONT OWN A TIME MACHINE - -I DEPEND ON MY GENOME AND CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE ..

    I DONT GET FOOLED BY FAKE KOSHER ARTIFACTS PLANED BY JEWS IN ADVANCE UNDER THE GROUND IN PALESTINE.

    WHEN I GLEAN I COLLECT CIRCUMSTATNTIAL EVIDENCE

    THAT REMINDS ME -I NEED TO GO AHEAD WITH MY UNFINISHED POSTS ON --

    http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2016/11/justice-cannot-be-blind-natural-justice.html

    WHICH IS A PART 7

    I NEED TO EXPOSE OUR UNSUCCESSFUL LAWYER TURNED COLLEGIUM JUDGES WHO CANNOT GLEAN AND PICK OUT "CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE" FOR NUTS

    OUR LOSER "BOTTOM OF THE CEREBRAL BARREL " JUDGES TOTALLY BANK ON "DIRECT EVIDENCE "--AS THEY ARE NOT SMART ENOUGH TO SCAN FOR CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE

    CHEATS LIKE TEESTA SETALVAD HAVE USED THIS TO HER ADVANTAGE BY PRODUCING FAKE WITNESSES OUT OF THIN AIR -- FUNDED BY WAHHABI CRYPTO JEWS

    DIRECT EVIDENCE WANTS A FAKE EYE WITNESS ( OUT OF THIN AIR ) TO SAY , TO SWEAR IN COURT ( THE JUDGE IS THAT STUPID ) --

    " I BECAME A GHOST WITNESS AND SAT ON THE SCROTUM OF THAT WOMAN -- I SAW SHIT COMING OUT OF HER ASSHOLE ON TO HER THONG AND I HEARD THE BRR PRRR -- AND I SMELT THE SHIT-- AND I FELT THE TEXTURE --AND I TASTED THE SHIT

    --AND ATE A SMALL PORTION TOO-- FOR GOOD MEASURE.

    WHILE CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE DOES NOT NEED ALL THIS. IT JUST NEEDS TO ESTABLISH BY A LAB TEST THE REMAINING SHIT INSIDE HER ASSHOLE, THE PERIPHERY OF HER ASSHOLE , THE SHIT ON THE THONG ARE THE SAME .. DITTO

    THERE IS NO NEED TO EAT SHIT

    THIS IS WHY WE NEED A SELECTION SYSTEM FOR JUDGES LIKE IIT/ IAS --- AND HAVE A JURY LIKE IN USA .

    WE HAD A JURY-- IT WAS BRIBED FOR A PARSI NAVAL COMMANDER --WHOLESALE

    http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2013/11/altamas-kabir-worst-chief-justice-of.html

    FUCK SHIT MAANN .

    http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2011/02/word-for-every-occasion-capt-ajit.html

    below substitute CAUSTIC for SHIT

    http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2011/01/caustic-humor-on-chemical-tankers-capt.html

    TEE HEEEEEE

    capt ajit vadakayil
    ..

    ReplyDelete